PAX CHRISTI!

Merry Christmas!

Ad Jesum per Mariam!

:::3 piCS I chOse to post in my Xmas Greetings BlogBLOg:::

=Jesus Loves Me: this was a gift from Kuya Stephen when I was still with MYM.

=Little statue of Mama Mary in my room: I'm not sure where my mom got it.

= Flowers: I'm the one who arranged it.(ehem!heheh) Arranging flower is not an easy job!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

My Veracity and The Figment of my Imagination

Here I am again posting blog about this illusion we called love. I have been inspired to post this after reading the blog of Ate Ohns bout the mermaid thing. Love is a vague word for those persons who never experience life's bitter reality. No pain no gain.. Here are the two write ups about my reality and my long life illusion. Something are not meant to happen, some people are not meant to be not because of destiny but it is because of the decisions we made in life." What I am right now is because of the things I have done in the past." Yeah right! Going back to love... Never expect to be happy when you are in love... be sad because you have been struck by this actuality, It will cover your eyes on the truth and its too late to realize that your feet were bleeding because you have stepped on a burning charcoal. Ouch!

posted on my multiply account:
1*29*2008 Jan 28, '08 6:33 PM
I never had a chance to look at his face a when he left that place. It was a gloomy day; I guess the sun would like to empathize with me. He wants to hide to all the people that look at him with lot of expectations. Sun was as always expected to give light, energy, heat… most of the good things it could give to humanity. But when it started to shine so much during summer we started to be irritated, it made us sweat so much that we want it to be vanished. So much of the sun, as I’ve watched him leave, I want to run and hug him tight. I want him to know how much I have desired to be with him forever. But my feet were so weak to run and my hands were too cold to move. I have lost him or its more right to say I have lost the chance to say what I really feel.

I was his friend since the high school; since I saw him I knew he was different. He was tall, dark, and thin and had a very mysterious face. I always wondered about his attitude. He seldom talks and never mingled with the girls. I have tried to win him as a friend; I was very challenged to know him... and at the end I won. We became friends. We always talk about anything and everything. I have always asked him of the dumbest question you could ever imagine and he always thinks that I’m stupid because of that. He always straight to the point, most of the time he is rude, but I can never see the rudeness in him. I have always remember a person who is God centered, loves his family so much, had a great ambition for others, always laugh at my jokes, treasured her friends, loves to eat rice cake ( esp. made by nanay), he loves spaghetti and chicken too, he hates burgers, siomai, anything that has mayo. I always remember a kind Him. I loved his eyes; it tells me a lot of things. I just can’t stand when he looked at me directly in the eyes; I was so ashamed for him to discover how I love him so much, so much. I have few dreams of him holding my hands. That never came true. I was one of the boys, his sister, a friend, just a friend! I stood by him since he started courting girls, and we were on our fourth year when he had his first GF. It broke my heart, I cried but I have to act as if nothing happens, I have to be happy for him. I accompanied him every time he buys gift for her. And her, well she was just the MS. Senior Prom during our time, she was one of the sought after girl in campus and she was almost perfect. Who I am to compete with her? He entered the PMA during my second year in college. We were on the same university, but we just saw each other for few instances only. I kept myself busy with the community, thinking that this puppy love would vanish. The academy changed him a lot. He had been with few relationships and currently he is attached “again” with a sought after girl in the campus but this time we were year ahead from her. She was our previous COCC. She looks like Mama Mary. She was a bio graduate and planning to be a doctor. I just saw her last Christmas, she became more beautiful and I think this time it’s different with her. I saw more serious him, happier him... This broke my heart slowly. As the days pass I felt the pain of loving a person so much and I can’t even tell it to him. I was known for always speaking my mind but it’s really different with him. I have decided not to, everybody knows except him. I just thank God he gave me the understanding of what love really means. “Love begets no love except to love.” I want to scream, I hate the feeling of not being able to move on. I’m frozen; I don’t know how to rise on the ground I have fallen on. I have to be happy; I want to be happy… I have to accept that I am just a “JELO” in his life. I could never be a sought after cake! I am a friend and I will always be a friend! I’m waiting for a wind to blow me off my beloved tree. I hope that would be soon... C’mon be fast!


posted on my friendster account:
Filed under: Realizations — rlanuza @ 12:14 am Edit This and tagged spell
Mind Mania
Spell has been cast down on my soul; I’m tremendously attracted to your presence. My eyes watch you closely but I still appallingly miss you. Your smile occupies my mind and the darkness of your soul threatens my being. I’m trying to escape from this illusion; I’m trying to get away from this feeling. I want to drown myself into sadness so I will not feel the happiness you brought to my life. My mind is telling me wake up and face the reality. . . Love could never be the word to describe it… Or maybe it is the right one???? I hate argument, I hate questions but this life pushes me to say something, to rebut, and to seek for the answer..

Happiness

I am happy? Am I happy? I should be happy?
Life is full of pain, we just have to look for our pain reliever....